


hypothetically

by wolfsupremacist



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A little angst for good measure, Body Worship, Frottage, M/M, Rimming, define the relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 13:36:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16744996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfsupremacist/pseuds/wolfsupremacist
Summary: baekhyun can't keep his hands off sehun.sehun can't keep his heart out of the equation.





	hypothetically

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pageandpetals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pageandpetals/gifts).



It always starts the same way. And Baekhyun commands him. The words he always says...they are Sehun’s favorite sounds, the syllables all strung together and falling down onto his skin. 

“Lay down,” Baekhyun says, guiding him back by the shoulders. 

That’s what Sehun does, the same as he always does: he lays down, back flat against the bed. 

Baekhyun leans over him, boxing Sehun in as he stares down at him. 

“Hi there,” Baekhyun says. 

“Hi,” Sehun says. 

Baekhyun smiles, and God, Sehun pinches himself on the thigh just to try and bite back what he wants to say, what he wants to tell Baekhyun. 

“Close your eyes now,” Baekhyun says. 

_I don’t want to_ , Sehun thinks. _I want to see it when you touch me._

But he obeys, listens to his hyung the way he always does. He shuts his eyes, lets them flutter closed as he tries to milk every last millisecond of Baekhyun’s face before he plunges himself into darkness. 

“Okay to start?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Yes,” Sehun says, and he’s never not answered _yes_. 

Because it is his favorite thing that they do together, this secret little thing that they don’t tell anyone about. It is just for the two of them, in the dead of night, in dimly-lit bedrooms, behind carefully locked doors. Biting his lip just to keep the stillness, the quiet. 

Sehun shivers at the touch that starts gently at the side of his cheek, one finger trailing down from his face to his neck. 

“I’m gonna take my time today,” Baekhyun says, and his voice is so close but so deliciously far away. 

“Okay,” Sehun whispers back, near silent in the darkness. 

And then it begins.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He doesn’t quite know when it started. 

That is a lie. Sehun knows exactly when it started, but he likes pretending as though he doesn’t remember, like the detail is inconsequential enough to not warrant remembering it. But he does remember it, remembers it like it was yesterday, even though it’s been close to five years since they first started. 

He didn’t know what to think, really. Still takes it with a grain of salt every time Baekhyun comes up to him with the signature mischievous glint in his eyes and asks if they can play. 

Sehun could say no anytime he wanted, and Baekhyun’s made that exceptionally clear since the very beginning. That’s the thing, though: he’s never wanted to say no. Not since the very beginning. 

When he first met Baekhyun, he was a whirlwind. Puppy-like visuals, a laugh that could make you laugh even when you didn’t want to, a tendency to tease. His talent was intimidating, his beauty was accessible but stunning. He could be cute, he could be sexy, he could be _anything he wanted_. 

Not much has changed, not at all, but people get the wrong idea about him sometimes, Sehun thinks. He is much more than he lets people see at first blush. He is private in his introspection, in his thoughtfulness. And that’s what made the proposition so surprising. 

“Think it over,” Baekhyun said casually, as if it could be casual, as if Sehun could ever be _casual_ about this boy. 

“Okay,” Sehun said. “I will.” 

“You never have to do anything you don’t want,” Baekhyun said. “And truthfully, I think the whole thing might work best if I do all the work.” 

Heat settled in his groin at the thought of this person, someone _made_ to be an idol, someone _made_ to be worshiped, worshiping him in turn. Too electric. It had coursed through him in waves. 

“Okay,” Sehun said.

He throws his eyebrows up a little. 

“Okay?’ Baekhyun said. “Okay as in--” 

“Okay as in yes,” Sehun said. “Yes.” 

Baekhyun smiled that same charming smile, the one that could get anyone to act against their best interest. Sehun just hoped that wasn't happening to him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sehun waited with bated breath, waiting for the tap on the shoulder that he knew would be coming. And sure enough, it came: the night before one of their comeback stages. 

“Are you nervous?” Baekhyun asked as they walked into one of the empty rooms. 

Sehun didn’t know what Baekhyun was asking, whether he was nervous about the comeback or about whatever it was that they were getting themselves into, but regardless, Sehun answered honestly. 

“Yes,” Sehun said. 

Baekhyun smiled and then turned, locking the door behind them. 

“It’ll be good,” Baekhyun said. “And if you don’t like it, at any point, you just tell me and I’ll stop.” 

“Okay,” Sehun said, and even though he could never imagine not liking it, it set some of his nerves at ease. 

“Okay,” Baekhyun smiled again, reaching up to take Sehun’s shoulders in his hands. “Sit down.” 

Baekhyun pushed him until the backs of his knees were against the foot of the bed, and then Sehun obediently sat, looking up at Baekhyun stood between Sehun’s split legs. 

“Lay down,” Baekhyun said, and he pushed Sehun gently, and Sehun fell, back hitting the mattress. “Get comfortable.” 

He didn’t know that he could get _comfortable_ in this situation, but he tried, centering himself on the bed and closing his eyes. Was it really happening? Or was he just dreaming it?

“That’s good,” Baekhyun whispered. “Keep your eyes closed, okay? Just feel.” 

“Okay,” Sehun whispered back. 

And then a weight was settling over him, straddling him. 

“Alright?” Baekhyun asked quietly. 

“Y-yeah,” Sehun said, squeezing his eyes tight until he saw stars behind his eyelids. “Alright.” 

It was quiet, tentative, and Sehun tried to just feel, feel Baekhyun’s hands kneading at his shoulders. It was good, Baekhyun was _good_ with his hands, and Sehun bit his lip to stop pleased little moans from leaking out of his mouth. 

“Good?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Yeah,” Sehun said. “Keep going.” 

Baekhyun seemed happy with his response, pressing his hands down, massaging into Sehun’s pectorals. 

“You--” Baekhyun started, but he took a minute to finish. Sehun just kept his eyes closed, kept focused on the feeling. “You have such a nice body.” 

“Ah,” Sehun said. “Please.” 

“You do,” Baekhyun praised. “Better than anyone else.” 

Sehun felt the compliments settle over him like warmth as Baekhyun continued to press the tips of his fingers, then his palms into Sehun’s chest, kneading like a kitten through Sehun’s shirt. 

“I’ve wanted to touch you,” Baekhyun said, quiet like confessions. “Just wanted to see what you felt like.” 

Sehun wanted to confess the same way, tell Baekhyun he has liked him ever since the first time Baekhyun opened his mouth, but Sehun kept quiet, just let Baekhyun skim his hands over Sehun’s body possessively. 

Sehun could feel himself harden, blood flowing so easily through him. He knew it was the point, knew what was coming, but residual shame still sat in his stomach, and he shifted, trying to avoid pressing his erection against Baekhyun’s ass. 

“No moving,” Baekhyun said, and then he worked his hips down, flattened Sehun into the bed by pressing his ass into Sehun’s cock. 

“Why not?” Sehun whined. 

“Let me take care of you,” Baekhyun said, and he dipped down, Sehun could feel it, before licking against the soft part of Sehun’s neck. “Let me do everything.” 

_Okay_ , Sehun thought. _Do whatever you want to me. Take whatever you want. Take all that I have._

He grinded into Sehun, hands on Sehun’s chest and mouth on his neck as he worked his hips down. Sehun was afraid that his lips would start to bleed with all of the biting he was forced to do just to keep himself quiet. 

“I wish we were alone,” Baekhyun whispered. “I wish I could hear you.” 

“S-stop,” Sehun whimpered, trying not to let the heat swallow him whole, nervous that he wouldn’t be able to keep himself quiet much longer. Not like this.

“You like it?” Baekhyun asked. “You like when I touch you like this?” 

Sehun grabbed the sheets, tried to hold himself down. Tried to hold himself back. 

“Can you flip over?” Baekhyun whispered. “Would that be okay? I mean, would you mind?” 

“Y-yes,” Sehun said, quiet as he could manage, the arousal thrumming through him like vibration.

Baekhyun backed off him, gave him room, and for the first time since they started, he opened his eyes. Saw a miracle: Baekhyun, mouth red, hard in his pants, chest working. He looked like he was meant to be loved, and Heaven help him, Sehun did love him. 

“Close your eyes,” Baekhyun whispered. “And lay on your stomach.” 

Sehun obeyed, always listened to his hyung, and when Baekhyun straddled him again, he started with his hands on Sehun’s shoulders once again, thumbs kneading behind Sehun’s shoulder blades. 

“Every part of you,” Baekhyun whispered, “is so pretty.” 

Sehun squirmed under all the attention. 

“Your shoulders are so broad,” Baekhyun said, rubbing Sehun gently. “God.” 

“Please,” Sehun said. 

“More?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Yes,” Sehun said. “Please.” 

Baekhyun worked down Sehun’s back, down to the small of it, holding Sehun’s waist in his hands. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Baekhyun said, awed, and Sehun wondered, wondered what this would turn into, all this praise. Because knew he could get used to this. 

He continued, skimming his hands down the sensitive parts of Sehun’s lower back until his fingers teased underneath Sehun’s shirt, dancing along the hem of his pants. 

“Ah,” Sehun moaned, surprised by the touch on his bare skin. 

“Shh,” Baekhyun whispered, pleased. “Be quiet, okay?” 

“Y-yeah,” Sehun whispered back. 

“Your skin is so soft,” Baekhyun said. “I want to--” 

But he never finished his statement, just continued to play with Sehun in his hands, clay to mold, to sculpt however he saw fit. 

He could feel Baekhyun hard against him, and the reversal was dizzying. Could Baekhyun take him like this? Would he want to? Sehun would let him. Wanted desperately to let him. 

“Your ass,” Baekhyun said, and it sounded so full of wonder, like Sehun’s body was everything Baekhyun had ever dreamed of. “So fucking nice. So fucking _perfect_.”

It lit a fire in Sehun so hot that he couldn’t stand it. 

Baekhyun moved, oil on water, and soon, his hands settled over Sehun’s ass, eliciting a deep groan. 

“Quiet,” Baekhyun said. “You gotta be quiet, okay?” 

“Yes,” Sehun whined. “Just--”

“I will,” Baekhyun said. “Just let me touch you.” 

“Yes,” Sehun said, quiet as he could possibly be. “Please.” 

He massaged into him, and Sehun couldn’t help but react. Sehun pushed his hips into the bed, grinding into the softness as Baekhyun touched him, _worshipped_ him, made him squirm and whine and bite down on his cries as he tried his best not to shoot too soon, Baekhyun’s hands on him almost too much to handle. 

“Look at you,” Baekhyun whispered. “Look at you _move_. Fucking perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect.” 

“B-Baekhyun,” Sehun whimpered, voice muffled by the covers. “Please.” 

“What do you want?” Baekhyun asked. “I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

_Everything_ , Sehun thought. _Give me everything._

“Can I come?” Sehun asked. 

Baekhyun moved, covered Sehun like a sheet, pressing his cock into the plush of Sehun’s ass.

“You want to come like this?” Baekhyun asked. 

“Yes,” Sehun said, “yes, please.” 

“Did I make you feel good?” Baekhyun asked. “Did you like it when I touched you?” 

“God,” Sehun whispered. “Yes, please.” 

“That’s it,” Baekhyun whispered back, urging him on, body pressed into Sehun’s, grinded them both forward, on and on and on. “That’s it, Sehun-ah. Gonna come for hyung?” 

“F-fuck,” Sehun stuttered, thrusting forward hard and fast as Baekhyun thrust hard and fast against him, and the orgasm washed over him in waves, impossibly good, impossibly perfect, a bright flash all throughout him. 

“Sehun-ah,” Baekhyun whispered, and his hips stuttered, and Sehun could feel when he came, body flat against Sehun’s, his body pulsing like a heartbeat. 

Sehun opened his eyes slowly, the dim light filtering in enough to make him squint. 

“Was that--was that okay?” Baekhyun asked, breathing still all fucked up, still labored at the back of Sehun’s neck. 

Sehun reached around, laced his fingers with Baekhyun’s. 

“Yes,” Sehun said, dragging their hands underneath him, pulling Baekhyun’s arms around him, stealing the embrace. 

“Good,” Baekhyun said. 

The air was dense, thick with the smell of sweat and sex, and Sehun closed his eyes, trying to remember every little bit of it, just in case he never got it again.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He need not have worried. 

Baekhyun comes to him, keeps coming to him, and Sehun loses himself to it. He doesn’t know what they are, the amorphous _us_ still big and wild in his head, but he lets Baekhyun take what he wants. And what Baekhyun wants is to touch him. All over. Always. 

It always begins the same way, Baekhyun just touching over him, painting his fingers across Sehun's body like brushstrokes, worshiping every little square of him. 

Sehun has a sickeningly sweet crush on Baekhyun, the cavity-inducing type that could bleed into everything you do. And that’s how Sehun feels: he feels as if he’s so obvious, so _obviously_ in love with Baekhyun, willing to do just about anything just to see him smile, just to make him laugh, just to make his face burst into that beautiful look of pleasure. 

He hopes he doesn’t look too starry-eyed whenever Baekhyun pushes him down and tells him to shut his eyes. He hopes he doesn’t look too desperate whenever Baekhyun touches him, holds him carefully, runs his hands over Sehun’s skin like he would like to keep him forever. 

Sehun lets himself believe it. And maybe that’s silly, maybe that’s him being the stupid maknae, but--but he’ll deal with it later, he thinks. When it matters more.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Baekhyun gets more aggressive in his appreciation for Sehun’s body, and their skinship goes from basic to maximal. And that’s in front of other people. 

Behind closed doors, they are insatiable. 

The experimentation is slow, and it is torturous as they move from clothed frottage to Baekhyun peeling him out of his clothes, peeling _himself_ out his clothes. Touching Sehun’s cock, sucking it. Feeding Sehun his cock. Taking Sehun. Letting Sehun take him. They never kiss, but Sehun figures it will come later, when Baekhyun feels ready for it. 

Baekhyun keeps him guessing, introduces new positions, new toys, new ways to praise Sehun and touch him that make him feel like a piece of artwork to be hung on the wall. 

No matter what, though, his eyes stay closed. He moves where Baekhyun moves him. And it is delicious. He’s never felt more cared for, never felt more attached to someone. 

“Lay down,” Baekhyun says, “and turn over.” 

“Okay,” Sehun says, turning over, hard cock brushing against the bed as he moves. 

“Put your ass up,” Baekhyun says, and Sehun does as he says, only listens, listens well for Baekhyun. 

Sehun gets up onto his knees, presents himself, and waits for the final command as Baekhyun starts to touch him, skin on skin. 

“Close your eyes,” Baekhyun says, and Sehun lets his eyes slip shut. “Good boy.”

Sehun wiggles from side to side, and Baekhyun smacks him on the ass. 

“Ah,” Sehun moans, shocked out of him, and he quickly brings his hand to his mouth to bite at his finger. 

“You should know better by now,” Baekhyun says. “Be quiet, or we have to stop.” 

But Baekhyun’s never stopped them before, always gotten them both to climax, no matter how loud, no matter how obvious they were. Still, Sehun tries his best. The members don’t have to know. 

“Look at this ass,” Baekhyun says, and his hands glide over the curves, almost agonizingly good, his touch warm and appreciative. “God, you’re fucking perfect.” 

Sehun bites his lip. Struggles to keep quiet. There’s so much he wants to say: _Lick me. Fuck me. Kiss me. Love me._

“Face down, okay?” Baekhyun says. “And try not to yell like last time.” 

A shoot of arousal runs through Sehun: they got lucky, last time. Everyone was out. 

Sehun feels Baekhyun’s tongue against his hole, and he bites the blanket, sobbing out a moan into the comforter.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sehun loves Baekhyun. He can’t--it’s not like he can ignore something as big as that. And it only gets harder to ignore over time. The skinship gets worse, gets _better_ but worse. Baekhyun’s all over him during their promotions together, rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder, tangles his arms and legs around Sehun whenever he can. A little jellyfish. Sehun wants to kiss him so badly, but he doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t know the rules of whatever they are. 

“What?” Jongin says. 

Sehun turns, their backs against the mirrored wall of the practice studio. Jongin sips from his water bottle. 

“What what?” Sehun replies. 

“What’s going on?” Jongin says, screwing the cap back on. “You’re all spaced out. You're never like that during practice.” 

“Just thinking,” Sehun says. 

“Okay,” Jongin says, and that’s why Sehun likes him: he lets Sehun come to him, doesn’t press. 

But Sehun wants--he wants _something_. He scoots over closer to Jongin. 

“If you--if you were with someone,” Sehun says, “hypothetically.” 

“Right,” Jongin smiles. “Hypothetically.” 

“So if you were like, _together_ , but not together,” Sehun says. 

“What does that mean?” Jongin asks, tilting his head cutely in confusion. 

“Like if you...if you,” Sehun says, vaguely gesturing his hands, hoping Jongin will catch on and he won’t have to spell it out for him.

“I don’t get it,” Jongin says, and Sehun would strangle him if he wasn’t looking for advice. 

“If you were fucking someone,” Sehun says. 

“Oh,” Jongin says. “Right. If I were fucking someone.” 

“And it’s been for a while,” Sehun says. 

“And it’s been for a while,” Jongin repeats. 

“What does that make you?” Sehun asks. 

“I don’t understand the question,” Jongin says. “Pass.” 

Sehun smacks him, and it devolves into a little wrestling match, both of them struggling against each other, laughing like hell, until Jongin pins him against the hardwood floor. 

“Explain,” Jongin says. 

“I think I have feelings for them,” Sehun says before hurrying to add, “hypothetically!” 

“Hypothetically, you have feelings for someone,” Jongin smiles, and he lets go of Sehun’s wrists, pulling him up. “Well, I think you should ask him what’s going on. Find out what’s going on in his head. Get some clarity on the matter.”

“You think?” Sehun says. 

“Yeah. Hypothetically, of course,” Jongin smiles. 

“Right,” Sehun says. “Hypothetically.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


It’s hard to find the right moment for something like a serious conversation with Baekhyun, because sure, people get the wrong idea about him, but God, there are only so many hours in the day. They’re either practicing, recording, traveling, or sleeping, and in the off chance they get a spare minute together, Baekhyun has Sehun on his back so fast that Sehun can’t even choke out a question. 

Not that Sehun minds, of course, but the anxiety and insecurity is building in him, and he’s gotta act sooner rather than later. 

They always lay for a couple minutes after, and those are Sehun’s favorite moments. Baekhyun is so gentle with him, especially when Sehun’s the one getting cleaned up, getting held. It always feels like love, and Sehun finds it hard to disrupt those moments with something like this. 

Still, he thinks, bracing himself for impact, _no time like the present._

“Hey,” Sehun says, and Baekhyun turns from where Sehun is spooning him. 

“Hey yourself,” Baekhyun says. 

“I have a question,” Sehun says quietly. 

Baekhyun turns, faces Sehun in the embrace, and brushes the hair away from Sehun’s forehead. 

“Shoot,” Baekhyun smiles. 

He breathes in. 

“Are we--what are we?” Sehun asks. 

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks. 

“I mean, what--what are we?” Sehun asks. “What are we doing together?” 

Baekhyun looks confused, looks like he’s never considered it. 

“Are you using me?” Sehun asks. 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun repeats. “Using you? Sehun-ah.” 

“Do you like me?” Sehun asks, getting increasingly upset as he lets himself imagine the horrible possibilities. “Has this all just been because you like my body? Because you like the way I feel?” 

“Hey,” Baekhyun says, and he reaches forward, cups Sehun’s cheek in his hand. “Stop that.” 

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Sehun says, and he squeezes his eyes, the darkness comforting. 

It’s a moment and then a moment more before Baekhyun responds, and it sits heavily upon Sehun’s shoulders, but when Baekhyun exhales a breath, Sehun opens his eyes. And Baekhyun’s beautiful. So beautiful. But sad. 

_No_ , Sehun thinks. _He’s never even thought about it._

“We’ve been doing this forever,” Sehun says. “And you’ve never thought about it once? You’ve never thought about me like that?” 

“Sehun, please, I--” 

He’s never been so embarrassed, never felt more the stupid maknae he is. 

“It’s fine,” Sehun says, and he won’t cry, he would _never_ cry this way. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Don’t,” Baekhyun says. “We should talk about it.” 

“It’s okay,” Sehun says. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.” 

He stands up, buttons his pants. Unlocks the door. 

“Sehun-ah,” Baekhyun says, and when Sehun looks back, he’s leaned back against the bed on his elbows, pants open, cock soft. 

“We’re fine,” Sehun smiles. And he slips out through the door, closing it behind him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


If anything is evident over the next week, it is that they are not fine. 

He and Jongin walk out of the building together, jump in a car together. All in silence. 

“Hypothetically,” Jongin starts, “does this mean it didn’t go well?” 

“Shut up,” Sehun says, and he puts his headphones in, but he doesn’t even bother to turn on any music. 

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says, and he puts his arm around Sehun, lets Sehun use his shoulder as a pillow.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sehun makes no effort to fix anything nor to even bridge the gap between them. Baekhyun gives him space, and Sehun is glad of it: his feelings are hurt, and even if his feelings are silly, they’re still his, and he can’t get away from them.

A bunch of them take him out to dinner, and Sehun is touched by the thought of it, but he can’t seem to get himself out of his foul mood. 

“This is awful,” Jongdae comments. 

“Maybe it’s you,” Minseok says. 

“No, I am great,” Jongdae proclaims. “The reason this dinner is awful, the reason no one will say out loud is that S--” 

And then Jongdae yelps, reaching down under the table to rub at his leg, Sehun assumes. 

“You were saying?” Minseok asks sweetly. 

Sehun rubs his eyes. He doesn’t mean to be such a fucking downer, and he wishes he could pretend better. 

“Let’s play a game,” Junmyeon says. “Who can make Sehun laugh?” 

“Kwangsoo couldn’t even make Sehun laugh right now,” Chanyeol says, and he ribs Sehun with his elbow. Sehun obviously wheels back and punches him in the arm. “Ow, you’re such an asshole when you’ve been jilted.” 

“Oh my god, shut _up_ ,” Jongin says, and he too wheels back and socks Chanyeol in the arm. 

“God, fucking _ow!_ Everyone’s ganging up on me,” Chanyeol whines, and he sinks under the table onto the floor. 

Sehun cracks a smile. 

“Ah!” Junmyeon says. “Chanyeol, you win!” 

Chanyeol sticks his head up from underneath the table. 

“I won?” Chanyeol says. “What do I win?” 

“A sack of shit and nothing more,” Jongdae says. “This mood still sucks. Someone order more soju. I’m thirsty.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


After dinner, for the next week, Baekhyun tries to talk to Sehun. 

Sehun wants none of it. He pretends to get phone calls. He pretends to need help from the manager. He says he has meetings to go to. People to talk to. He runs. He hides. He wants nothing to do with Baekhyun’s weak apologies, the _can we still be friends_ that’s sure to come once Sehun stops running. 

Sehun locks himself in his room, and Baekhyun pounds on the door. 

“I’ll wait here all night if I have to!” Baekhyun shouts. 

“Oh my god, shut up,” Sehun hears Jongdae shout back. 

“ _You_ shut up,” Baekhyun shouts back. 

Sehun hides under his covers, and by the time he walks out of his room in the morning, Baekhyun is slumped against the wall, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. 

Sehun tries his best not to be charmed, but God help him, Baekhyun is cute.

  
  


* * *

  
  


All Sehun wants to do is eat his fucking cereal in peace. 

Junmyeon sits down next to him, and Sehun wants to die. 

“What’s going on?” Junmyeon says casually. 

“No,” Sehun says. 

“What?” Junmyeon says. “I was just trying to see how you were.” 

“I’m not an idiot,” Sehun says. “I know what you’re doing.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” Junmyeon says. “I’m just trying to see how my favorite member is doing.” 

“Junmyeon-hyung,” Sehun says. “Leave it alone.” 

“No,” Junmyeon says, and he pushes Sehun’s cereal out of the way. “We’re gonna talk about it.” 

“Talk about what?” Sehun asks. 

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Junmyeon says. “Spill it.” 

“There’s nothing to spill,” Sehun says. 

“Do you think we’re stupid?” Junmyeon laughs. 

“Fine,” Sehun says, and he throws his hands down on the counter. “You tell me what’s going on then, since you know so much.” 

“You and Baekhyun have been together for years now,” Junmyeon says. 

“No,” Sehun says. “Not really.” 

“What do you mean, _no_?” Junmyeon asks. 

“We’re not together,” Sehun says. “Not according to him.” 

“Oh,” Junmyeon says. “So that’s what this is all about.” 

“Yeah,” Sehun says, and he drags his bowl back in front of him, depressed as he dips his spoon in. “I guess.” 

“Have you told him how you felt?” Junmyeon asks. 

“I’m obvious,” Sehun says. 

“You’re about as obvious as sudoku,” Junmyeon says. 

“Shut up,” Sehun says, and he shoves into Junmyeon with his shoulder. 

“I’m serious,” Junmyeon says. “You should say something. He probably never realized you liked him.” 

“If he wa--,” Sehun says, stopping himself. He doesn’t really want to get into the details of their relationship, especially not in front of Junmyeon. 

“It’s fine,” Junmyeon says, waving away Sehun’s concerns with a flick of his wrist. “You aren’t as quiet as you think you are. We _all_ know.” 

Sehun stares at his stupid cereal, heat rising to his face. 

“Go ahead,” Junmyeon says. 

“If he was fu--if we were together,” Sehun says, trying to clean up his language, “then how would he not realize?” 

Junmyeon laughs. Stands up, pushing away from the counter, and moving away. Sehun turns, watches him start to walk out of the room. 

“What?” Sehun calls. 

“Nothing,” Junmyeon says, turning to face Sehun again, smiling. “Just...I’ll clear out the dorms tonight, alright? Make sure you get it fixed.” 

“I don’t know how,” Sehun says. 

The only way Sehun could fix things is if he could learn how to ignore his feelings, but he just can’t. He _can’t_ anymore. 

“You don’t have to know,” Junmyeon says. “Just let him talk, okay?” 

Sehun grimaces. 

“Promise you’ll listen. For me?” Junmyeon asks. 

“Okay, hyung,” Sehun says. “But only for you.” 

Junmyeon runs back across the room just to ruffle Sehun’s hair.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When everyone is gone, Baekhyun walks in. And Sehun wants to walk away. But Sehun gave his word, and he isn’t one to go back on his word. 

“Hey,” Baekhyun says. “You’re not gonna run?” 

“No,” Sehun says. “Not this time.” 

“Okay,” Baekhyun says. “Do you want to--I don’t know, do you want to go to my room?” 

Sehun stands, and he follows Baekhyun through the dorm until the door is closed behind them, the air tense and locked in with them. Baekhyun wheels around, faces him, pained expression clear. 

“You fucking--I thought you liked it,” Baekhyun says. 

And that’s not what Sehun expected to hear. 

“What?” 

“I thought you liked it,” Baekhyun says. “You told me you’d stop me if you didn’t like it.” 

Sehun thinks back, tries to parse it all. It catches up to him quick, and he sputters. 

“I did like it,” Sehun says. “I liked all of it.” 

“You didn’t,” Baekhyun accuses. “You wanted more than what I was giving you. And you didn’t tell me.” 

“It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to say,” Sehun says. 

“Well, I thought you would tell me,” Baekhyun says. 

“So that’s it?” Sehun asks. “You just didn’t want to feel guilty? You just wanted to absolve yourself from this and blame it all on me?” 

“What? No, God, what are you--” Baekhyun says before he puts his head in his hand. “God, I’m fucking this up completely.” 

Sehun goes quiet, lets Baekhyun get his thoughts together as he shakes it off. 

“It’s just so fucking ironic,” Baekhyun says. “All I wanted to do was show you how perfect you were, tell you that you were worthy of worship, and I guess I inadvertently made you feel like shit.” 

Sehun stares at the floor, and Baekhyun bends his knees until Sehun is staring down at him. He looks up, and Baekhyun stands to full height.

“I never meant to hurt you. And I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it. And I know that’s stupid, but...,” Baekhyun says, “I don’t know, you’ve always been there for me, ever since we signed, and I just never thought--I never thought you felt that way. I never even let myself dream about it.” 

“I did,” Sehun says. “Because I do feel that way.” 

Baekhyun steps forward, takes Sehun’s hands in his. 

“You’re hard to read sometimes,” Baekhyun says, a smile on his face. 

“Am I?” Sehun says. “I felt like I was being so obvious.” 

“Are you kidding?” Baekhyun laughs. “Sometimes, God, I thought you hated me.” 

“ _Hate you_ ,” Sehun scoffs. “I love you.” 

“Yeah?” Baekhyun teases. “You love me?” 

Sehun turns away, shy, but Baekhyun holds Sehun’s jaw in his hands. 

“Look at me,” Baekhyun says. “And tell me.” 

“I love you,” Sehun says, honest. 

Baekhyun shuts his eyes, and it looks like it pours over him slowly. Sehun shuts his eyes too, comforted by what he’s always known. 

He pulls Sehun in, hugs him close, and they hold each other for countless moments. Pretty, edgeless moments that don’t feel like they count against time. Moments that feel free. After a while, though, Baekhyun pulls back, looks at him with a dirty grin. 

“Come on,” Baekhyun says, grabbing the lube from the drawer. “Lay down.”

Sehun turns, falls onto his front, closing his eyes on instinct, ready to be taken. But Baekhyun keeps him guessing, keeps surprising him, even after all this time. 

“Hey,” Baekhyun says, and when Sehun looks back over his shoulder, Baekhyun is there, grinning. “Kiss me.” 

Sehun’s heart grows, thumps wildly within his ribcage, so hard that he thinks it might burst out on it’s own accord. 

He moves, and Baekhyun moves, and they move together, sharing a kiss for the first time. Chaste, despite what they’re doing. Pure, despite their past. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun says, and Sehun arches into it, a flower towards the light. “I love every bit of you.” 

He’s never known what Baekhyun tastes like before now, but now he does: cherries, chocolate, and _at last._ And he’s never known anything sweeter. 

“Kiss me,” Baekhyun says, guiding Sehun onto his back so that he can lay on top of him. “Kiss me again. Please.” 

Sehun obliges him, kisses him slow and soft and deep, doesn’t stop until they are wrapped in each other’s arms, grinding against each other. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun says. “I didn’t know what to call it, but I always loved you. I didn’t know, but every time I wanted to touch you, every time I got you alone, it was because I wanted to let myself love you. Have you love me back.” 

“I always did,” Sehun says against Baekhyun’s mouth. “Always. Fucking _always_.” 

“Yeah?” Baekhyun asks, reaching between them to try to wrap his hand around them both. “Always? Even when I was telling you what to do? Telling you to close your eyes and keep quiet?” 

“Yes,” Sehun says, and he throws his head back, moans loud for the first time with Baekhyun. “Always.” 

“Keep them open this time,” Baekhyun says. “Watch me.” 

And he slides down Sehun’s body, kisses his collarbones, his chest, the hollow under his ribcage when he sharply draws breath. 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun curses. “I want to kiss you all day. I want to--I want to show you how perfect you are.” 

Sehun squeezes his eyes shut, too pleased with the praise. 

“Open your eyes,” Baekhyun says gently, fingers dragging over Sehun’s skin. “I want you to watch me.” 

Sehun opens his eyes and as soon as he does, Baekhyun presses a kiss to the head of his cock, a small, chaste kiss. 

“Baekhyun,” Sehun moans. 

“You’re so big,” Baekhyun praises. “You’re _perfect_.” 

“Please,” Sehun groans. 

“Please what?” Baekhyun asks. 

“Touch me,” Sehun says, tilting his hips up, desperate for anything. 

Baekhyun licks idly at the head of Sehun’s cock, tearing the whimpers and whines from Sehun’s chest, from his lungs. He sucks him down, a tight ring of wet suction around his dick as Baekhyun starts to play with his hole, curious fingertips making him tense and shake. 

“Hold your legs up,” Baekhyun says, and he helps raise Sehun’s legs up, spread as hugs the tops of his thighs against his chest. Baekhyun trails his hands down along the sensitive skin as he lowers himself to the bed, mouth against the backs of Sehun’s legs. “So good.” 

“You can be as loud as you want,” Baekhyun says, pressing sloppy kisses against Sehun’s skin as he moves, dangerously close to where Sehun wants his mouth most. “You can do whatever you want.” 

And he surges forward, tongue laving out as he licks into Sehun, dragging moan after moan from him. Sehun lowers his legs, crosses his ankles across Baekhyun’s back, and traps him there, thighs against Baekhyun’s ears as he eats Sehun out. Almost too good. Almost too deliciously, deliriously good. 

Baekhyun wipes his mouth, wipes his hand on the bed sheet before spilling lube onto his fingers, dripping it onto Sehun’s hole. 

“Ah,” Sehun moans, and it’s still new, being able to be loud. The noises, the sounds: they’ve been under lock and key for so long, and now…

“Yes,” Baekhyun says. “Tell me.” 

“Please,” Sehun says. “Please give it to me.” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun moans, and he slips his finger inside, curling and stretching. 

“D-don’t,” Sehun says, grabbing his cock at the base. “I’ll come too fast.” 

Baekhyun slips a second finger inside, and Sehun arches his back as his body welcomes it, his prostate immediately targeted by Baekhyun’s circling fingertips. 

“I don’t care,” Baekhyun says over Sehun’s frantic rising groans of pleasure. “I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.” 

There is nothing like it, Sehun think, nothing like making love with someone who cares for you. Because the orgasm rises in him, hot and steady, and when Baekhyun looks at him, smiles at him as he absolutely decimates him, Sehun realizes that he still hasn’t closed his eyes. 

He looks at Baekhyun as he comes, shuddering and shaking and shouting.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They are squeezed into Baekhyun’s bed, but there doesn’t need to be much space, not at all. 

“I never thought I would get this lucky,” Sehun confesses. 

Baekhyun turns into Sehun, takes him in a kiss. The novelty hasn’t worn off, not in the hours since they’ve started, and Sehun doubts it ever will. 

“I always knew I was lucky,” Baekhyun says, smiling. “But I didn’t need luck to get you. I needed a miracle.” 

_No_ , Sehun immediately thinks. But then if there _was_ a miracle, he thinks, it most certainly blessed them both.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh! i wrote this as a lil pick-me-up for my very good friend pageandpetals! she is a very talented writer and u should go check her stuff out, she is much better than me. 
> 
> anyway, firstly, i hope that she enjoys and secondly, i hope that anyone else who happens across this does too! we love confused but ultimately Very In Love boys. thank u very much for reading, and if u did happen to enjoy, leave a kudos or, if you want to save the bees, leave a comment! i don't know exactly how leaving a comment would help, but trust me, its very scientific and people much smarter than me have told me so
> 
> u can find me on twitter @wolfsupremacist. u can send me anon hate through my curious cat (/wolfsupremacist). 
> 
> ok i love u very much!!!! u can do anything u set ur mind to! U COULD EVEN EAT THE SUN!!!!!!!!!! DO IT!!!!! U CAN!!!!!


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